Waiting and updating

We are starting month 15 of being on the wait list. That doesn't count the months we were filling out paperwork. Some days are easier and some days are harder. We know it is all in God's time. We know that He has it all perfectly planned out. We have been told over and over that once you see that little face, the waiting disappears. (I suppose like when you forget your labor..ha) When we first got on the wait list, we were at numbers 53 for a boy and 86 for a girl. We were told to expect to be waiting 6-9 months with the possibility of it being up to 12 months. They estimate the wait time according to the average of how long the people getting referrals have been on the wait list. So in reality, they don't really know. We have seen lots of changes in the Ethiopian program since we got on the wait list. In the long run, it is probably for the best, but right now we just see it as slowing things down. It is VERY frustrating!!! Imagine being pregnant with no due date.

It is hard to prepare for a new baby when you don't really know how old they will be. We put in for less than 12 months at time of referral. We could be matched up with a 2 month old and then have it be 4 months until we come home. We could be matched up with an 11 month old and then have 4 months until we come home. We could be matched up with a 2 month old and it be 8 months before we come home. I've been fairly patient in the wait. Now that it is looking like we will end up with a boy, the patience isn't coming as easy. I want to buy stuff, but still can't really. We need to know age/size/season in order to shop. It is hard to explain the thoughts that go through my head from time to time. First of all, as a mother, there honestly is not a day that goes by that I don't think about this new child of ours in some way or another. Some times it is on the back burner of my mind, but always, always there. It is better when I'm busy, but it still is never too far from my mind. It is hard to not think about the future. Different things will happen and I can't help but think, "Next year at this time when we do this, we will have a baby." It is a hard concept to grasp. We have been waiting for so long that it still seems so very unreal. It still seems like it may never happen.

Since we have been on this journey for so much longer than we ever thought we would be, we have paperwork to update. Yippee!! Adoption is paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. Our home study doesn't expire until 2013. I was THRILLED about this b/c I was really thinking we would get to avoid this. We have had to redo our USCIS fingerprints. When that happens, we get a new FDL (Favorable Determined Letter) giving us "permission" to adopt an orphan. Our FDL expires in February. In order to ask for an extension of our FDL, our home study has to be updated in the last 6 months. Boo!! So much for being excited to not have to update that. I have been in contact with our wonderful home study case worker "A" from Catholic Family Services. She will need to come back to our house for a visit that will be about an hour long. We have to redo some SD and FBI fingerprints. We also have to update our physicals. Fun times! So we are just getting the ball rolling on this.

I'm still holding out for a referral by Christmas. I have decided no Christmas cards are going to be sent from our house this year. You might get a New Year's or Valentine's, etc....We WILL include a picture of our newest addition. We TRY to rest in the fact that this is in God's perfect time, but sometimes it is so hard.

Someone posted this picture on FB. It is so super cool so I'm sharing it here.