Adoption certainly is an emotional roller coaster. The highs are pretty high and the lows are pretty low. The last time I posted, I was pretty down. After only a few days, I'm very content. Of course this feeling probably won't last long, but I am happy that I'm content at least for the time being. We had our home study update visit yesterday. Our social worker is so amazing! We are blessed to have found her. We are also so thankful we only have to pay mileage for a 110 mile round trip instead of roughly 500 miles round trip. Yikes! Being an hour away from our social worker sure was easier when we had to make visits to her office and now that she has to come here. She will have to come 3 times once we are home. She is an amazing lady and I just can't say it enough that we are so lucky to have her. I can't imagine sharing this important part of this journey with anyone else. God promised to provide for us if we took the leap of faith and said "Yes" to adoption. This was one way that He provided for us.
While our movement seems to be slow, there are things happening for which I am thankful. Last night I read that one agency hadn't had any referrals for 7 months. Another agency hadn't had any referrals since June. So....even if it slow, there still is movement. There is reason to be thankful. Yes this journey has been longer than we ever imaged it to be. I know that it will continue to be a struggle for us. So close, yet so far away. We didn't think we would be have to update all of this stuff as we thought we would have a referral by now. Imagine that when we first got on the wait list, we were told 6-9 months possibly up to 12 months. We are into month 15 of just being on the wait list....not counting all the months we did paperwork before that. I believe we made our decision to adopt the end of January 2010. So, who would have thought we would still be waiting? God has really taught me alot on this journey. Patience and trust!!!! Two very hard things to learn. I can trust, and up until lately, have been fairly patient. I know that I need to let the patience/trust lesson flow into my daily life. It is coming, slow but sure. I am also becoming a stronger person through all of this. We know it will all be in God's time, but sometimes that is so hard. Seriously, I'm ready for it to be OUR time! Ha!! It is hard to live in the present when we know that our family isn't complete. We try to enjoy life at the independent level it currently is at. It is just hard not to think about the future and how things will be. When you are pregnant, I'm sure you are constantly thinking about the future and how life will change, etc...That is how things are for us except we have no due date. It really is challenging to live in the present, enjoy life as independent as it is currently, and try not to think of what life will be like. For now, I'm content with where we are.
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