A sense of peace

Not only is my heart sad b/c I just don't know when we will finally have our little one in our arms forever, but it REALLY aches for the families from our agency that now have to wait MONTHS instead of weeks to bring their kiddos home. They have met their kids already. They have held them in their arms. They had to leave them a world away knowing they have no clue when they will be back. So sad!!! So, so sad!!!

Church really spoke to me today. Our gospel reading and the sermon screamed at me today!
Matthew 14: 22-33
Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he dismissed the crowds, the went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but by the time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from teh land, for the wind was against them. And early in the morning he came walking toward them on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, "Take heart, it is I, do not be afraid." Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

Wow! This couldn't have been more fitting. Peter doubted Jesus many times. He even visually SEES Jesus and doubts that it is Him until it is proven to him. If one of the disciples doubts, then I'd think it would be human for me to do it also. Not saying that doubting is a good thing, but meaning it is a very REAL thing. Peter needs proof that it is Jesus. So Jesus tells Peter to walk on the water. Peter was actually able to walk on the water until he started to doubt! Jesus was able to calm the storm. This was just one of the many miracles that were performed. NOTHING is too big for our God...not an Ethiopian court, MOWA letter, etc...In His perfect time, our 3rd child will be placed in our arms forever. It WILL be hard. God doesn't promise our lives to be easy. He does promise to be with us every step of the way. When we are suffering, Jesus is walking right next to us, holding us through the tough time. I may still doubt from time to time as that is easy to do. However, today I was reminded of the fact that NOTHING is too big for God. When we, as humans, feel it is "impossible, " we must remember that nothing is impossible with God.

I can't understand why things are happening in the adoption world. God wants us to be the father of the fatherless. So, why is it that we are trying to do this and we keep running into obstacle after obstacle? I don't know. I might never know or it may be reveal to us later. For now, I need to trust that God is in control and that things will be okay. I have a major feeling of peace right now. As with all things in the adoption world, that could change very quickly. For now, I will rest with peace in my heart.