The current status of things as we wait...

I'm not sure why it is always the little things that make or break things for me. When we first got on the wait list, our boy vs girl numbers were 33 apart. Of course we thought we would get a boy b/c of this. As time has gone (on and on) the numbers have crept closer together. Hard to believe they are now only 6 apart. I'm going on a limb to assume we will be getting a boy...even with our numbers so close. 6 girls would have to come into HH and be referred out before it would be our turn. THE NEXT boy that comes in...is ours!! It is fun to see the beginnging of the end. We have a long journey yet in front of us, but it is fun to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can now go into a store and drool over the blue things. (and maybe buy a thing or two)  We can't buy any clothes yet b/c we don't know age/size yet. It is fun though to be seriously thinking about our boy!!! I have to tell about my fun deal that we found on crib bedding. We weren't even looking for a crib set. I was looking for some sheets. We had gotten a blue/brown crib bumper this summer. We went out on a limb and spent $5 for it. If we ended up getting a girl, we would just be out $5. Well, we happen to run into some clearance bedding. This whole crib set was $60 clearanced to $36. LOVE it!!!! Got the matching crib mobile for $22 down to $12. Sweet!!! I so wanted to do the room blue/brown. I've planned it for so long. Now with this bedding....things change. We will still do chocolate brown on the bottom. We now will do a sage-like green on the top half. I looked at borders. They are sure expensive. I think we will just do a chair rail with a different color. There is a very talented man in town that is doing some art work for our baby's new room. I had told him our colors were going to be blue/brown. IF there is a lot of blue/brown in his painting, then we will have tan on the top. If not, we will do the green. Something so silly like bedding can make me so excited. I've slowly purchased some other things, but getting this bedding, knowing we are getting a boy, hoping it is soon is just so much fun!!!!
Currently I'm doing okay with sitting at #1. I refuse to get the room ready until we have a picture to stay at. I'm hoping that getting the room done will be a nice distraction between referral and court. We know that our case workers are out of the office this week so I can relax and not freak every time the phone rings. Last I heard, there were no unreferred babies at HH which means our phone can't ring anyway. Hoping/praying that soon some new kiddos come into HH and that it doesn't take long to have their paperwork ready. It still doesn't seem real that we are #1 and that the next baby is OURS!!! I hope our wait isn't weeks or months. We have waited so long. The time to see that precious face is so close. I always refer back to God's timing. We know this will all work out in God's perfect time fream. I hope/pray I can have patience and peace until HIS time is here.

Thanks for following our journey to our little Ethiopian. It has been a long, hard journey that is far from being over. I had hoped we would be home before the school year ended and then we would have all summer to bond. I'm not sure if that is realistic anymore. Time will tell. It sure is fun to listen to everyone that is so excited for us. That means a lot. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. Please continue.

December numbers

We are #7 for a girl and #1 for a boy! Nice to finally have some movement after so many months with little to no movement. Still thankful for our agency as they have had more movement that many other agencies.

Fun stories about moving to #1

I always have my cell phone sitting on my desk at school. I don't have the sound on at all so I don't distub anyone. ;) Randomly I'll walk by and just see if I happen to have a message. I did this yesterday afternoon and had a message from a good friend of mine, T. It said, "Are you #1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Okay...this was a question, but it had exclamation marks behind it so I thought maybe this is to say, "You are #1." I thought the exclamation marks were the selling point. I was freaking out. :) I texted T back and said, "Am I?" I was wanting a reply that exact minute, but some people have lives so I had to wait. Ahhh...My school kids were watching a video so my computer was tied up. So I couldn't check any messages. After what seemed like FOREVER, the video was over and I was able to check my messages. I didn't even know where to look as there were so many messages. I happened to see a message from my friend, K, who is directly behind us on the list. She said she needed to text me b/c I was a teacher and probably didn't know anything was going on. I continued to search to see that the family in front of us had indeed received a referral. We were #1!!!! WOW!!!! I was freaking out. Thankfully God gave me a blessing. I had a volunteer in my room helping me out. She told me to go and tell Jason in person and she would watch the kids. She said, "Enjoy the moment." I went down the hallway and shared our news with Jason and all the rest of the teachers. It is sooooo very exciting!! It is even more fun to have the love, support, and excitement from others!!! After school was out, I was able to let the rest of the world know of the news. ;)

I think of our situation and I can't help but SMILE :) We have waited 17 months to be where we are. If you want to see me look like a kid in a candy store, mention our #1 spot to me and watch me just beam!! Love it!!!! I know that we went 2 months without an infant boy referral. I'm not thinking we will have that slow of an ebb, but there have been 4 referrals in December already so I'm not sure if there will be any more. Right now, I'm very comforted in the fact that the next little boy that comes into HH is BABY BISHOP!!!! :) I hope/pray that our wait at #1 is short lived. As far as I know, our agency isn't open from Christmas to New Year's which leaves next week as the last week before January. We can still hope/pray for the Christmas miracle to see our SON'S (ahhh....that is fun to say) face before Christmas. What a truly amazing gift that would be. However, I am really very happy to be in the #1 spot for Christmas.

For those that are wondering, after we get matched up it can be 3 months or so before we get to meet our little one and then 1-2 months before we get to bring him home. Please keep praying. Thanks!

On a fun note, as I'm sitting at the ball game last night it hit me....Jason is the last Bishop so we will now be able to carry on the family name. Tears!!!

We are......

for a boy!!!! (More later)

Faith vs Fear

Our sermon today talked about Faith vs Fear. It was about how the angel came to Mary and told her that she was pregnant with the Son of God! Did she react by Faith or by Fear? I could relate this so much to our adoption journey. We knew this was not going to be an easy journey in many ways, but we took the leap of faith and said "Yes!" to God's plan for us. I can look back on the last 22 months since we decided to adopt and see that for the most part, it has been a journey of Faith. As we get closer and closer to the top of the lists, the Fear has taken over. I don't know if it is necessarily Fear, but being human. For example, FINALLY there was a referral. Finally!!! Yippee!!! It is past due as the last infant boy referral was September 26. It is fun to actually have talked with the family that got their referral. Sooooo excited for them. :) We weren't sure where this put us as there was one mystery family on the list. Well, we found out they got their referral too!!! TWO referrals in a couple of days. Sweet!! (especially after the long, dry spell) We know that we are now #3 for sure. That means only 2 families in front of us. I should be ecstatic! I should be over the moon! I'm not at all. My heart can't do that. Way back this summer, we were so excited to be so close. Since then, there have been some lost referrals. (Those families go in front of us on the list to get a 2nd referral) Also, there has been very little movement. I think my heart is guarded right now. I believe it would be guarded by Fear. Looking at the spiritual side of things, I should be so super happy. Even with all that has happened, we are still closer now than we have ever been. I know this will happen in God's time. I know that I have many lessons to learn as we wait. Then the human side of me kicks in. I'm tired of waiting!!! What an emotional roller coaster ride. Our agency preaches "Ebb and flow" of referrals. Well, the human part of me thinks that maybe these 2 referrals was the flow and now we will sit at a standstill again. UGH! So hard to know how to feel. I do connect the "Fear" part mentioned in the sermon today with being human. Part of me feels guilty b/c I can't help but to doubt. I know better, but my heart still is feeling the way it does. I need to remind myself yet again that even one of the disciples doubted that it was really Jesus standing in front of him. He needed to see the marks on his hands/feet. If one of Jesus' disciples doubted, then I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself for doing it. I don't know how to feel. I'm excited, but very cautious. One day, I walk by Faith...trusting and feeling confident that it IS God's plan. The next day (or even minute) I walk by Fear...doubting, exhausted from the wait, and wondering if this will ever happen!!! So that is where things are currently. Praying, praying, praying that we get a Christmas miracle and have a referral by Christmas.

Now a silly, heart-warming story. I made a stocking for this new child of ours. On the top of the stocking, I made the Ethiopian flag. The flag didn't look as good as it could of b/c the top color is green and the top of the stocking was green. I was in Walmart the other day and saw that they had stockings that had white on top. I thought maybe I should get one and re-do the whole thing as the flag would look better on white then on the green that it blended in with. I did not get the other stocking, but thought about it. Well, I got home and got the other stockings out. Hmmm...every single one of them have a green top. :) I guess it is meant to be. I had never noticed the top of ANY of our stockings before. Silly stories like this are small reminders to me that God has this all planned out and that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!!!