JOY

I have really struggled with this blog post. If you don't already know, I don't update my blog very often. When I first started  a blog it was to keep people in the loop of what was going on in regards to the adoption journey. We have now been home for 1.5 years. There isn't much to update. While we are in the middle of the teenage years as well as the teenager in training ;) years, those days seem to be about the same day after day. While with the season of toddler hood things seem to change daily. I titled my blog entry "joy" b/c that is the best word to describe life with Kobe. He brings so much joy into our lives. There is never a dull moment in our house. I think it is safe to say that all of us are completely fascinated with Kobe. He always amazes us with how smart he is. It is fun to listen to him say new things or to do new dance moves. It is also fun to watch him play. The things he comes up with is unbelievable. I sort of feel a bit removed from friends of ours b/c we now have a little one at home again. Our lives truly do revolve around Kobe. The little things really are cherished so much. I don't know if that is b/c the girls have proven to us how fast they grow up. I don't know if it is b/c of all we went through to get him. I don't know if it is b/c we missed out on 7 months of his life. I honestly don't know what it is.  Everyone loves their kids. Everyone is proud of their kids. Everyone wants to tell stories about their kids. This is different though. I just can't put it into words. There are times where I feel as if I tell too many Kobe stories or share too many pictures. I just can't help it. There are so many miracles in regards to Kobe and him being placed in our family. Maybe that is why things seem to be a bit different than "normal" with him. Our love for Kobe seems to grow more and more each day. How is that possible when we love him so much already? I truly thought the newness would wear off especially with the girls. That is so not the case. It is obvious by watching the interaction b/t the kids that the girls love Kobe to pieces. They are sad if too many hours go by without seeing him. It is awesome to see. Of course Kobe feels the same way. He can't go too long in the house without wanting to be with his big sisters. JOY! Pure joy is brought to our house by this little boy. To God be the glory for all He has done to bring this sweet little boy into our lives. It is an honor that God chose us to be Kobe's parents. Words cannot describe the joy he brings to our lives. He truly is a blessing to all of us.

Happy Birthday, Little Buddy!

I apologize for not updating more often. I tried to keep people in the loop as we were in the actual adoption process. Now that we are home, there isn't that much to report. We are just a busy little family.

As I write this, it is actually September 12 in Ethiopia which means our little boy is 2!!! I can't believe it. Time just flies. When we were on the wait list, the days drug on and on. Now that we are home, time just flies. There are many bittersweet milestones when you have children. I believe the milestones are that much more bittersweet when you have an adopted child. The emotions are so overwhelming. We can't imagine our lives without our little man. We are so thankful we said "yes" to the call to adopt. We are so blessed that God chose Kobe to be our son. Then there are the thoughts/feelings dealing with Kobe's birth mom. Does she know how much he is loved? Does she know how happy we all are to have him in our lives? While we are so happy and so filled with joy, my heart breaks to think of what she is missing out on. My prayer has always been that God gives his birth mother PEACE.

There have been lots of changes in our lives in the past month. First of all, our dear friends/neighbors/Kobe's Godmother moved to a different state. It was very hard to see them leave. It was hard for me to know how to help Kobe deal with it because he didn't understand why he couldn't see them daily. Like with all changes, it takes time to adjust. We keep in touch via Skype. He still smiles so big when he sees their faces.

Days after this first big change in Kobe's life, another huge change came about when we welcome a foreign exchange student from Thailand into our house. Kobe seems to have adjusted well to that. He loves her just like his other sisters. My biggest concern is how he will be after she is here for 9 months and then just up and gone. Only time will tell. We felt called to the foreign exchange student opportunity also.

If those changes weren't big enough....school started meaning full time daycare. It didn't take long for Kobe to be adjusted to that new schedule. The first full week of school he was only at daycare half days due to the heat. Nothing like have your whole life really screwed up. We are finally back into a regular routine.

Kobe continues to bring us tremendous joy. He is quite the character. He is also showing his 2 year old temperament. I could really do without the temper tantrums, but I guess that comes with the territory. I'm impressed with his talking. I know other kids talk more than he does at his age. I also know how much the girls did/didn't talk before they were two. I think it is amazing to hear him talk, mimic, and try to say things. While it is a challenge at times, it is also so fun to see grow.

With being a teacher, I'm aware of the differences between boys and girls. Wow what a difference when it is in my house though! :) Kobe is such a boy! He can't use anything the way it is supposed to be used. He is really getting into the cars and trains. He loves watching the trains go through town. How lucky we are to live so close to the train tracks. He wants to catch the grasshoppers and just tonight his sister caught him a frog. He wants to play in the mud puddles. He can spot a cow from far away. It is so so different with a boy. I'm constantly in awe with the differences.

I think that brings you up to date on life here. We officially have a two year old in the house! My baby isn't much of a baby anymore. That certainly does make his mommy sad. Again I'm sorry I don't update this much. There just isn't much to tell. We are done with the ups and downs of the adoption journey and are full fledged into the ups and downs of parenting an adoptive child. Believe me, there are some differences in raising adopted vs biological. So much more "baggage" with an adopted child. Yet on the flip side, that same "baggage" is what makes our little boy who he is today. I have much appreciation in my heart as my baby turns two. Appreciation to his birth mom who gave us the best gift ever. Appreciation to God for all the blessings He has given us on this journey. Appreciation to all of our family/friends who have walked beside us on this amazing journey. (I'm posting a picture of the very first day we were able to hold our little boy)

A long overdue update

Sorry for not posting more often. We are just living the life. Our days are pretty busy chasing after our little man. It is unbelievable how much he has changed and grown. It makes me so sad to think he will be 2 in September already. It seems he learns new things every day. His talking is really coming a long. There are quite a few things he says that we actually understand. He is at the point where he will repeat what we say with prompting. It is crazy because he really does understand you when you tell him something. Also there are times when he will "tell" on what someone has done to him. Even though we can't understand him, we can tell that is what he is doing. It is a fun age!!! He loves to tickle people. He enjoys looking at the cows when we are traveling. He can spot them from far away. Music continues to be a big part of his days. He loves to sing and dance. He always amazes us at the dancing that he does. He is usually on beat which is impressive for a 1 year old as some adults can't do that. :) Kobe does all of his animal noises as well as pointing to body parts. He is starting to sing his ABCs. He counts things. He doesn't say the right number, but the tone of his voice and his actions shows us that he is counting. He loves, loves, loves to be outside. He will go to his bedroom door and want in. When we let him in, he goes and gets his shoes. Shoes on means outside. :) Well I think that brings you up to date. He continues to bring us tons of joy. He truly is a "Gift from God" (which is what his Ethiopian name means)

Yippee!!!

When Kobe first came home, he was lactose intolerant. The two times I tried to give him milk based products he threw up every 10 minutes for the first hour. I was scared to give him ANYTHING. He was slowly introduced to milk based products. I was excited beyond belief that he tolerated these things. Recently he started drinking regular milk at daycare. We were using the rest of the almond milk that we had on hand. As of today...Kobe is 100% on a regular diet with dairy!!! YIPPEE!! YIPPEE!! YIPPEE!!! :)

1 year later

The first full day home with Kobe we took some pictures of all three kids. A year later we did the same thing so we could compare. It is so hard to believe it has been home a year. A year since our family was complete and all under one roof. Like every parent we have our days. However I feel we are so lucky to have been given the three precious gifts that God has entrusted us with. There is never a dull moment in this house. Love all of these kiddos.

 

A special day

Today is the last of the "One year ago today."  After 2.5 years of waiting, 2 trips to Ethiopia, 22 hours of travel, and lots of heartache and tears, we landed in the US one year ago today. We had an emotional meeting with the girls. We were then able to have Kobe meet most of our families along with some special friends (including 2 little ones that lived with him in Ethiopia) What a special homecoming celebration it was! Tears still fill my eyes when I see pictures or video from that day. It will be forever etched in our memories. I can't believe a year has passed. It has been one year since Kobe was united with his FOREVER FAMILY! What a blessing he is to us. We love him so much. Thanks so much for walking this journey with us. It hasn't been easy, but the rewards are far greater than we could have ever imagined.

I do ask for your prayers once again. Kobe is having a hard time with his trauma anniversaries. He is very irritable at home. He "flips out" easily and cries way more than normal. He is not his happy self. Knowing what we do about trauma anniversaries we can tell that is what the trouble is. You can tell he feels out of control. It is hard to be patient with him as he seems as if he is just being naughty, but it is different. I think about how our lives changed a year ago. Think about what this little boy has been through this past week a year ago. He was plucked from everything he had ever known. He was put with these people that look different, smell different, and talk different. Then he was put on a plane for hours and hours. Then at the airport he had tons of people in his face. I can't imagine how scary all of this was for him. So if you could say a prayer to calm his heart and to give us patience as he works through all of this, I would appreciate it.

Thanks again for all. It is appreciated more than you will ever know.

Gotcha Day---1 year later

A year ago yesterday we boarded a plane to travel across an ocean, to a world away, to bring our son home. A year ago tomorrow our little boy was placed forever in our arms. The emotions that come with these anniversaries are very strong. I can't even begin to put those feelings into words. It seems as if it was just yesterday that this all happened. Yet it seems like Kobe has been in our family FOREVER! Again things are very bittersweet. We are so happy to have him here, yet it is so sad that time is going so fast. I think of all we have been through. The past year has been good, but very hard. There are lots of things with an adoption that are hard that you just never think about until you are put up against that challenge. While we were waiting, people told us it would be worth the wait. I knew it would be worth it, but I had no idea. It is true beyond words. The wait was incredibly hard, but the joy this little boy brings to our days is unbelievable.  Part of it is because of his personality. Part of it is because of the age difference between him and the girls. The girls love him so much and he loves the girls so much. They have a special relationship. It is awesome to see! The newness hasn't worn off. With all of us, the love we have for him grows more and more every day if that is even possible. Since the girls are so much older, I believe I cherish the things he does much more knowing it won't be long and he will be on to new things. I just never could imagine that one child could bring so much joy into the lives of our family as well as everyone he meets. With adoption, you hear about the child being a perfect fit for the family. I cannot believe how perfect he really is for our family. I still sit back in awe of God's amazing love for all of us. We feel so, so blessed.

Legacy of adopted child

Legacy of adopted child

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember.
... The other you call mother.
Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star
The other became your sun.
The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions.
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
One gave you up---It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child
And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me
Through your tears,
The age old question
Through the years:
Heredity or environment
Which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling--neither,
Just two different kinds of love.
~Author Unknown

Final post placement visit

Yesterday we had our FINAL post placement visit. We had to have three post placement visits from our social worker. Now we have to do annual reports every year until Kobe turns 18.  It was a bittersweet visit. There are so many things in the adoption journey that are bittersweet. While we are happy to not have our social worker visit us, we are sad that we don't have our social worker visit us. It is yet another milestone. We have been home long enough that we are now on our own as far as reports go. Yet it is very sad to know that we won't be seeing our social worker any more. Once again, God's hand was truly on this journey. We picked All Gods' Children International for our agency. They are based out of Oregon. Since we chose this agency, we needed to find a local agency that would be willing to work with us, as well as AGCI, to do our home study. God blessed us with an agency one hour away. I do believe if they wouldn't have been willing to work with us, we would have had to get someone four hours away. Four hours (one way) wouldn't have been fun to get to appointments plus paying for mileage for our in home visits. I was so thankful to find someone "close" to us that would work with us. Not only did we luck out that way, we were blessed with an amazing social worker. We felt so comfortable with her which is how you should feel with someone in this situation. It was a true blessing to walk this journey with someone that we really connected with. We thank God for leading us to Catholic Family Services as well as our awesome social worker. There are no words to thank her for all she did for us. Our hearts once again are overflowing.

 

What's love got to do with it? Everything!

The other day I received a link to our agency's orphan care update. The head of Hannah's Hope had written a letter. Our little guy was mentioned in it and his picture was in it. Some of what she wrote included: "Our mission is to make up for all the hardship children endure before they come to us. Some kids arrive hardly alive, wasted by malnourishment, suffering from infectious diseases and maltreatment. Many children come to us with flat personalities because their past circumstances have forced them to give up." She told a story of a little girl that they couldn't save. Then she said, "I know that God has brought us other children and helped us fight for their lives. S, M, A and Yonatan are among them." Hannah's Hope is known for their great care. I had always assumed that Kobe was transferred to HH as a last ditch effort in order to save his life. (He was only 6 pounds at 2 months when he came into Hannah's Hope.) This update confirms what I thought all along. The picture that was in this update is one we have seen before. However, I have never put them side by side. Wow!!!It totally takes my breath away. It is so overwhelming on so many levels. God saved our son's life by getting him into HH. We are so lucky that we chose the agency we did that has the transition home of Hannah's Hope. Our little guy got great care and was so loved. That isn't not normal at all. The orphanages are not good places. The kids may get fed ONCE a day! The babies don't cry because they know they aren't going to get held. The rooms are plain and boring. What a huge, huge blessing the transition home of Hannah's Hope is! I can't imagine going to Ethiopia on our first trip, loving our child, and leaving him for an unknown amount of time after seeing the terrible conditions that must kids live in. We are so thankful for our agency, Almaz, HH, and the special mothers. Most importaly we thank God for saving our son's life. I ask you to take time to click on this link. Read the "Letter from Almaz." It is worth your time." http://allgodschildren.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/AGCI_SponsorUpdate_2.13.pdf

 

Tough Days

Most of my posts have been pretty positive, but I have always said that I need to keep it real for all of you following our journey. We are very lucky. We have had very few issues compared to what we could have. There are days where things are down right tough. The hardest days for us is when Kobe has "trama anniversaries." Our agency forewarned us of days like this, but I didn't totally believe it until we started to live these days. The trama part of a person's memory is very strong. When someone experiences trama, it is embedded into their memory. Since Kobe is so little, he won't be able to verbalize what the trama was. This "trama" that I'm referring to could be the day he was brought into the orphanage or the day he came into Hannah's Hope etc... There are so many things we may never know. While their little minds don't know WHAT happened, their little hearts know that SOMETHING happened. I used to think this was the craziest thing, but now we have lived it. He may not know the exact date, but his internal time frame is usually within a few days. Monday was a tough, tough day for our little guy. From the time we picked him up from daycare until he went to bed, he had random crabby times. This isn't the usual crabby times. This is full fledge throw himself crying and screaming. Yes he sometimes will do this when he doesn't get his way, but this is so different. There is nothing we can do to console him. Nothing!! It is so heartbreaking! Monday night he was up at 11:30pm until 3am. He wasn't crying the whole time, but had periods of the total unconsolable screaming/crying. It amazes me that they "know" these things. We were told they wouldn't be able to verbalize their feelings even once they got older b/c the may not actually know what is making them sad. We may have some rough days ahead. We are at the one year anniversary of us leaving him in Ethiopia. We are within a week of him being in the hospital in Ethiopia. So we expect some different behaviors. My heart aches for him when he is like this. He is just so sad. The cries are so different than normal. It is hard as a Mom to not be able to "fix" the hurt. It is just another thing that makes our days with an adoptive child a bit harder. In general, I think that people assume once we get that child home that everything is peachy. That isn't the case. There are many things that are different with an adopted child rather than a biological child. We love him just the same. When our patience wear thin on these days when we see such behaviors, we must realize that his little heart is aching so much. We must LOVE BIG!!!

Meetcha Day---1 year anniversary

I felt I should blog about such an important day yet I don't totally know what to say. (Shocked aren't you? Ha) It just doesn't seem possible that it was a year ago that we meet our sweet little boy. I look at the pictures of our "first holds" and I'm instantly taken back to that exact moment in time. It is so completely breath-taking. There are no words to describe how it felt to hold that little boy for the first time. We loved him before we even knew if he was a he or a she. We loved him more when we learned of his name and saw his face. Was it possible to love him more? We already felt pretty attached even though we had never met him. A year ago when we pulled up to those black gates of Hannah's Hope we thought we would do paperwork first. We were barely there and one of the ladies said, "Do you want to see your baby?" Oh my goodness!!! Tears!!! Holding Kobe for the first time filled our hearts even fuller than they already were. It was one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Some parts of our trip are so vivid and yet there are parts that are such a blur. What an amazing experience. We are so thankful we said "yes" when God placed adoption on our hearts. We knew we would be blessing a child as well as the child blessing us. Little did we know just how much this child would bless us and all those he would meet. WE are truly the blessed ones. We love this little boy so much and can't imagine life without him.

 

10 months home

I canNOT believe we have been home for 10 months. Some days it seems like just yesterday that we came home. Some other days it seems like Kobe has been here since birth. It has been quite awhile since I have updated. I apologize for that. It is just the fact that life is busy as usual and I wonder how much of it is of interest to anyone reading this.

The biggest excitement worth reporting is that our lactose intolerant little boy had some yogurt and it didn't bother him. I was sooooo happy!! He had gotten so violently sick when he has had milk and yogurt in the past. I was freaked out to give him things that contained milk. If you have ever looked at the labels, everything has some sort of milk in it. Since he reacted so severely, I was scared to try anything that had even a small amount of milk products in it. Now I don't have to ready labels and worry so much. If he can have yogurt, he should be good enough to have foods that have some milk products in it. What a relief!! Even if he can't drink milk, we can live with that.

He has cut 5 teeth in the last few weeks (including 4 molars)  He did amazingly well considering. He is quite the drool monster though. Some days his shirt is soaking wet! I guess it goes with the territory.

He can have quite the temper at times. Just in the last few days he has started to throw himself to the floor crying if he doesn't get his way. Oh geez....he is only 17 months old. What will things be like when he is 2 or 3? Yikes! He has a tendency to scream when he wants something. I have taught him a few words in sign language. I never did that with the girls, but I love it. He does more, please, and thank you. It is nice to give him some form of communication when he doesn't have the words yet. It is amazing how fast he picked up on it.

A few weeks ago, the stomach flu went through our house. Kobe and I were the only ones that didn't fall victim to it. I was surprised that Kobe didn't get it as he was exposed to it first. After talking to one of the nurses at the hospital, she thought that since he had salmonelle when he first came home he might have built up enough anti-bodies to it. Crazy! Since the flu hit the house we found Kobe has a new love...saltines. We have gone through so many in the past weeks. He has them all the time. He even has to have one in his hand when he goes to day care. Crazy kid!!! I guess there are worse things he could want to have.

Kobe ended up getting RSV a couple of weeks ago. Basically RSV is a cold, but is much harder for the little ones to fight off. He was having nebulizer treatments every 4 hours. Thankfully he has finally kicked this. There is so much junk going around.

Kobe was only getting up once a night until December when he got ear infections. Between the ear infections and then Christmas traveling, his sleep was terrible. UGH! The week the stomach flu went through the house God blessed us with him sleeping all night every night. The last 3 nights he has slept all night. He is old enough that it is passed time for him to be sleeping through the night. I hope it continues. I did also take him off of the bottle 3 nights ago. He was just having a bottle at bedtime. We kept him on the bottle longer than we did with the girls since that was the only thing that was the same as in Ethiopia.

He is so much fun. He is at the age where he is really beginning to mimic. Every day is a new adventure with him. He learns new things daily. We love watching him grow and change. He really has his sisters wrapped around his finger. He will only put up with Dad and Mom for so long until he wants his sisters. (And is not afraid to let us know) He loves his sisters and they love him so much. It is so special to have 2 much older siblings. We feel so blessed to have the wonderful kids we have. Yes we have our days, but who doesn't?!

 

Happy New Year

It is bittersweet to say goodbye to 2012. 2012 was welcomed with much hope. At this time last year, we were sitting at the #1 spot waiting, hoping, aching to see our child's face. We knew that 2012 would bring much excitement to our lives. After almost 2 years into the process and 17 months on the wait list, 6 days into the 2012 we got the phone call we had waited so long for. At the end of February, we were on a plane to meet our son. In April we were given the amazing news that we cleared Embassy (in record time) and could bring our son home!!! The first month home was a blur in adjusting to having a baby in the house again, having a child that we didn't know much about, having a child that was on a 9 hour time change, plus having some medical battles with pneumonia. We were extremely thankful that I was able to spend some quality Mommy/Kobe time for about 5 weeks while the others finished school and before the chaos of summer hit. In July our little man was baptized on his mommy's birthday. In August, we started the adventure of daycare every day as school started. It was super hard for this mom to leave her little boy. We had spent so many hours together. He loves daycare so much and is so loved there which makes it so much easier to leave him. In September, we celebrated Kobe's 1st birthday. We then had our first Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. On December 11, 2012, we went to court and our adoption is 100% finalized in South Dakota. What a great hurdle this was!!! Of course I just hit on some of the highlights of the past year. We also had ear infections, new teeth, saying new things, crawling, and walking and all of the other things that come with having a baby in the house. I am still amazed at how this whole adoption process has played out. We never thought we would adopt, but God called us to. We are so thankful that we answered His call. It has NOT been easy, but the rewards are great! Kobe fits into our family perfectly, just like you always hear about with an adoption. As hard as it was to wait, God's timing was indeed truly perfect. It is crazy how much joy and happiness this little boy has brought to the lives of everyone around him especially our family. He continues to be quite the little ham and loves attention especially from his awesome big sisters. We were so richly blessed in 2012. I can't imagine what 2013 has in store for us. Thanks for sharing in all of our ups and downs. We appreciate your constant love and support. May God bless you in 2013.