Legacy of adopted child

Legacy of adopted child

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember.
... The other you call mother.
Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star
The other became your sun.
The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions.
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
One gave you up---It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child
And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me
Through your tears,
The age old question
Through the years:
Heredity or environment
Which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling--neither,
Just two different kinds of love.
~Author Unknown

Final post placement visit

Yesterday we had our FINAL post placement visit. We had to have three post placement visits from our social worker. Now we have to do annual reports every year until Kobe turns 18.  It was a bittersweet visit. There are so many things in the adoption journey that are bittersweet. While we are happy to not have our social worker visit us, we are sad that we don't have our social worker visit us. It is yet another milestone. We have been home long enough that we are now on our own as far as reports go. Yet it is very sad to know that we won't be seeing our social worker any more. Once again, God's hand was truly on this journey. We picked All Gods' Children International for our agency. They are based out of Oregon. Since we chose this agency, we needed to find a local agency that would be willing to work with us, as well as AGCI, to do our home study. God blessed us with an agency one hour away. I do believe if they wouldn't have been willing to work with us, we would have had to get someone four hours away. Four hours (one way) wouldn't have been fun to get to appointments plus paying for mileage for our in home visits. I was so thankful to find someone "close" to us that would work with us. Not only did we luck out that way, we were blessed with an amazing social worker. We felt so comfortable with her which is how you should feel with someone in this situation. It was a true blessing to walk this journey with someone that we really connected with. We thank God for leading us to Catholic Family Services as well as our awesome social worker. There are no words to thank her for all she did for us. Our hearts once again are overflowing.

 

What's love got to do with it? Everything!

The other day I received a link to our agency's orphan care update. The head of Hannah's Hope had written a letter. Our little guy was mentioned in it and his picture was in it. Some of what she wrote included: "Our mission is to make up for all the hardship children endure before they come to us. Some kids arrive hardly alive, wasted by malnourishment, suffering from infectious diseases and maltreatment. Many children come to us with flat personalities because their past circumstances have forced them to give up." She told a story of a little girl that they couldn't save. Then she said, "I know that God has brought us other children and helped us fight for their lives. S, M, A and Yonatan are among them." Hannah's Hope is known for their great care. I had always assumed that Kobe was transferred to HH as a last ditch effort in order to save his life. (He was only 6 pounds at 2 months when he came into Hannah's Hope.) This update confirms what I thought all along. The picture that was in this update is one we have seen before. However, I have never put them side by side. Wow!!!It totally takes my breath away. It is so overwhelming on so many levels. God saved our son's life by getting him into HH. We are so lucky that we chose the agency we did that has the transition home of Hannah's Hope. Our little guy got great care and was so loved. That isn't not normal at all. The orphanages are not good places. The kids may get fed ONCE a day! The babies don't cry because they know they aren't going to get held. The rooms are plain and boring. What a huge, huge blessing the transition home of Hannah's Hope is! I can't imagine going to Ethiopia on our first trip, loving our child, and leaving him for an unknown amount of time after seeing the terrible conditions that must kids live in. We are so thankful for our agency, Almaz, HH, and the special mothers. Most importaly we thank God for saving our son's life. I ask you to take time to click on this link. Read the "Letter from Almaz." It is worth your time." http://allgodschildren.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/AGCI_SponsorUpdate_2.13.pdf

 

Tough Days

Most of my posts have been pretty positive, but I have always said that I need to keep it real for all of you following our journey. We are very lucky. We have had very few issues compared to what we could have. There are days where things are down right tough. The hardest days for us is when Kobe has "trama anniversaries." Our agency forewarned us of days like this, but I didn't totally believe it until we started to live these days. The trama part of a person's memory is very strong. When someone experiences trama, it is embedded into their memory. Since Kobe is so little, he won't be able to verbalize what the trama was. This "trama" that I'm referring to could be the day he was brought into the orphanage or the day he came into Hannah's Hope etc... There are so many things we may never know. While their little minds don't know WHAT happened, their little hearts know that SOMETHING happened. I used to think this was the craziest thing, but now we have lived it. He may not know the exact date, but his internal time frame is usually within a few days. Monday was a tough, tough day for our little guy. From the time we picked him up from daycare until he went to bed, he had random crabby times. This isn't the usual crabby times. This is full fledge throw himself crying and screaming. Yes he sometimes will do this when he doesn't get his way, but this is so different. There is nothing we can do to console him. Nothing!! It is so heartbreaking! Monday night he was up at 11:30pm until 3am. He wasn't crying the whole time, but had periods of the total unconsolable screaming/crying. It amazes me that they "know" these things. We were told they wouldn't be able to verbalize their feelings even once they got older b/c the may not actually know what is making them sad. We may have some rough days ahead. We are at the one year anniversary of us leaving him in Ethiopia. We are within a week of him being in the hospital in Ethiopia. So we expect some different behaviors. My heart aches for him when he is like this. He is just so sad. The cries are so different than normal. It is hard as a Mom to not be able to "fix" the hurt. It is just another thing that makes our days with an adoptive child a bit harder. In general, I think that people assume once we get that child home that everything is peachy. That isn't the case. There are many things that are different with an adopted child rather than a biological child. We love him just the same. When our patience wear thin on these days when we see such behaviors, we must realize that his little heart is aching so much. We must LOVE BIG!!!