Wow! Where does the time go? We have been home for 7 months already. 7 months!! It seems unreal that it has been that long already. It is interesting because when you are on the wait list the days drag and drag. Now being home with our little angel the days just fly by. We had some momentous days this week. First of all 7 months home means that Kobe has officially been in his forever family as long as he was in institutional care! Yippee!! What a milestone! Thank you God!
On November 11, 2011 Kobe was brought into the care of the amazing Hannah's Hope. (Our agency's transition home) The day was sure filled with mixed emotions for this mom. He came into HH weighing 6 pounds at 2 months of age. I believe with all my heart that he came into HH as a last ditch effort. People in Ethiopia know that HH has great care. There are many times when kids are taken to Hannah's Hope when they don't think the kiddo will make it. We were so appreciative of all that the Hannah's Hope staff did. Not only did they take the place of us, as parents, when we were a world away, but they nursed our baby back to life. We thank GOD over and over that He saved our son. It is an overwhelming feeling.
Days in our house are simply amazing. We are always amazed at the new thing that Kobe says or does. He is really getting good at copying us. Right now it is cute while that might not always be the case. ;) It seems he is changing daily. It is unbelievable as to how much joy this little boy brings to our lives. The other day, in church, Kobe was sleeping on me. Lexi said, "I just want to squeeze him." She then continued to say, "I want to squeeze him when he smiles and laughs at us too." Truth spoken straight from the almost 11 year old's mouth. I think we all think/feel that same way. It is like you cannot get enough of this little man. Words cannot express the amount of joy he brings into our lives.
Recently an adoptive mom and friend of mine posted a blog about life after returning home with the newest addition to the family from another country. She was asked to sum things up in 3 words. After she thought long and hard about it, she came up with exhaustion,grief, and isolation. I agreed with her post so much I did get permission to post about it in my blog. Exhaustion: The adoption journey is truly exhausting...physically and emotionally. It IS different that having biological kids. There are so many "other" things that play into all of it. I've learned that it isn't as cut and dry as it was with the girls. There are lots more questions and lots more trial and error. It seems like there is always something I'm needing to change or looking into b/c I don't know what to do etc...For example, his hair! We had a great hair routine down. Now that we had a few days in the teens we have to find a new routine for the winter months. Another thing is trying to keep him warm when hauling him to and from the house. His little skin has never been in cold like this. He needs some time to get a bit more used to the weather. Thankfully he got to come home in April so he had a little transition. It just is always something whether it is actually child care or paperwork, etc.. Also-- it has been 10 years since we have had a little one running around the house. It is hard to get back into the swing of that craziness. I was 10 years younger when my last one was into everything in the house. ;) Grief: There is so much grief that comes with adoption. First of all, in all the happiness we have with this little boy there is a mother a world away that is missing her little boy. I hope/pray that she knows he is well taken care of and loved so much. I cannot imagine things being so bad that I had to give up my child. There is also grief in how are lives used to be. No we wouldn't change things at all. We also are constantly reminded of God's hand in bringing this little boy into our lives. No matter how much any child is wanted, the change of the family dynamics is hard. We went from being able to up and go whenever to having to make sure all bases were covered before leaving. We are back to diaper bags, carseats, and babysitters. Don't get me wrong...there isn't anything wrong with this. It is just a change. A change that is hard. There are times when we grieve our old pick up and go whenever lives. It comes with the territory. Isolation: For the first weeks home, we are told to limit contact with others in order to ensure proper attachment with this kid that honestly doesn't know you from any other person that has left him in his life. We did "cocoon" and limited the time with others besides our family. Then we slowly went out. Now we are back into our regular lives full force. So how can it still feel so lonely? A big part of it is that my friends are past their baby days which means I'm going through all of this by myself with nobody to talk to about what their kid is doing, etc.. Also--it seems my world revolves around this little boy. I could talk about him all day. I've realized the other day that things ARE different with Kobe than with the girls. I cherish my time with him more. I really struggled with telling anyone that. I felt very guilty, but it does make sense. #1-we waited, longed, prayed, ached for this new addition for so long. #2-we missed the first 7 months of his life. Therefore I think the time we do have with him now is so much more meaningful b/c of what we missed. #3-we are older and realize that in a blink of an eye these days will be just a memory. #4-holding your child and then leaving them a world away not knowing when you will return makes you not want to let them go. There are days when I just hold Kobe in the rocking chair after he is sleeping. Oh the thoughts and feelings that stirs up both good and bad. The summary of all of this...Adoption is so very hard yet it is so very rewarding! None of this will make sense to you unless you have been there and done that. I don't think I've been through anything as hard as our adoption journey and I don't think I've been through anything as rewarding as our adoption experience. My heart is always so warmed and full when I think of what a perfect fit Kobe is for our family. He brings so much joy and happiness. He is loved more than anyone could ever imagine. We thank God over and over for saving Kobe and for giving him to us. We thank God for His hand in this whole thing and His perfect timing. WE are the ones that are blessed. How can someone so little bring such joy?!
On November 11, 2011 Kobe was brought into the care of the amazing Hannah's Hope. (Our agency's transition home) The day was sure filled with mixed emotions for this mom. He came into HH weighing 6 pounds at 2 months of age. I believe with all my heart that he came into HH as a last ditch effort. People in Ethiopia know that HH has great care. There are many times when kids are taken to Hannah's Hope when they don't think the kiddo will make it. We were so appreciative of all that the Hannah's Hope staff did. Not only did they take the place of us, as parents, when we were a world away, but they nursed our baby back to life. We thank GOD over and over that He saved our son. It is an overwhelming feeling.
Days in our house are simply amazing. We are always amazed at the new thing that Kobe says or does. He is really getting good at copying us. Right now it is cute while that might not always be the case. ;) It seems he is changing daily. It is unbelievable as to how much joy this little boy brings to our lives. The other day, in church, Kobe was sleeping on me. Lexi said, "I just want to squeeze him." She then continued to say, "I want to squeeze him when he smiles and laughs at us too." Truth spoken straight from the almost 11 year old's mouth. I think we all think/feel that same way. It is like you cannot get enough of this little man. Words cannot express the amount of joy he brings into our lives.
Recently an adoptive mom and friend of mine posted a blog about life after returning home with the newest addition to the family from another country. She was asked to sum things up in 3 words. After she thought long and hard about it, she came up with exhaustion,grief, and isolation. I agreed with her post so much I did get permission to post about it in my blog. Exhaustion: The adoption journey is truly exhausting...physically and emotionally. It IS different that having biological kids. There are so many "other" things that play into all of it. I've learned that it isn't as cut and dry as it was with the girls. There are lots more questions and lots more trial and error. It seems like there is always something I'm needing to change or looking into b/c I don't know what to do etc...For example, his hair! We had a great hair routine down. Now that we had a few days in the teens we have to find a new routine for the winter months. Another thing is trying to keep him warm when hauling him to and from the house. His little skin has never been in cold like this. He needs some time to get a bit more used to the weather. Thankfully he got to come home in April so he had a little transition. It just is always something whether it is actually child care or paperwork, etc.. Also-- it has been 10 years since we have had a little one running around the house. It is hard to get back into the swing of that craziness. I was 10 years younger when my last one was into everything in the house. ;) Grief: There is so much grief that comes with adoption. First of all, in all the happiness we have with this little boy there is a mother a world away that is missing her little boy. I hope/pray that she knows he is well taken care of and loved so much. I cannot imagine things being so bad that I had to give up my child. There is also grief in how are lives used to be. No we wouldn't change things at all. We also are constantly reminded of God's hand in bringing this little boy into our lives. No matter how much any child is wanted, the change of the family dynamics is hard. We went from being able to up and go whenever to having to make sure all bases were covered before leaving. We are back to diaper bags, carseats, and babysitters. Don't get me wrong...there isn't anything wrong with this. It is just a change. A change that is hard. There are times when we grieve our old pick up and go whenever lives. It comes with the territory. Isolation: For the first weeks home, we are told to limit contact with others in order to ensure proper attachment with this kid that honestly doesn't know you from any other person that has left him in his life. We did "cocoon" and limited the time with others besides our family. Then we slowly went out. Now we are back into our regular lives full force. So how can it still feel so lonely? A big part of it is that my friends are past their baby days which means I'm going through all of this by myself with nobody to talk to about what their kid is doing, etc.. Also--it seems my world revolves around this little boy. I could talk about him all day. I've realized the other day that things ARE different with Kobe than with the girls. I cherish my time with him more. I really struggled with telling anyone that. I felt very guilty, but it does make sense. #1-we waited, longed, prayed, ached for this new addition for so long. #2-we missed the first 7 months of his life. Therefore I think the time we do have with him now is so much more meaningful b/c of what we missed. #3-we are older and realize that in a blink of an eye these days will be just a memory. #4-holding your child and then leaving them a world away not knowing when you will return makes you not want to let them go. There are days when I just hold Kobe in the rocking chair after he is sleeping. Oh the thoughts and feelings that stirs up both good and bad. The summary of all of this...Adoption is so very hard yet it is so very rewarding! None of this will make sense to you unless you have been there and done that. I don't think I've been through anything as hard as our adoption journey and I don't think I've been through anything as rewarding as our adoption experience. My heart is always so warmed and full when I think of what a perfect fit Kobe is for our family. He brings so much joy and happiness. He is loved more than anyone could ever imagine. We thank God over and over for saving Kobe and for giving him to us. We thank God for His hand in this whole thing and His perfect timing. WE are the ones that are blessed. How can someone so little bring such joy?!
